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Week 5 Wrapped

I can't get this out of my head. Mike Evans and Trevon Diggs were jawing at one another during Sunday's fantastic game between the Niners and Seahawks. Evans grabbed his opponent turned him around so he could see the name on the back of his jersey. He made it as clear as possible that he did not know who Diggs was. I wish that we all wore our names on our backs so I could pull this off.

Predictions, scored

Week 5 Results

Week 5 Preview

The Fast and the Jahmyrious win big over Acho Endzone. As mentioned above, Brissett ends up being the wrong answer to the right question for MoAE.

Full Point - The margin was not quite as big as I had hoped, and I think Jayden Daniels (32.26) should have had some points deducted for the way the Commanders blew a field goal opportunity to win in overtime. Jacoby Brissett put up gaudy numbers (25.78 points) against Detroit, but MoAE paid for the bad vibes via a poor showing from Romeo Doubs (2.10 points) and TJ Hockenson (1.20 points). All of that aside, TFatJ remains on a roll.

Swerski's Super Fans squeaks out a closer-than-projected matchup against .08 Over Par. The latter get big weeks from Goff, Williams, and Nacua but it's not enough to overcome Swerski's overall depth.

Full Point - I can't truly say that Swerski's "squeaked" this out, but Romo's Woes did get big production from Goff (28.94 points) and Nacua (29.20 points). Its Cleveland Browns (Fannin Jr., Concepcion Jr.1) scored 1 and 0.90 points respectively. Ouch.

Crouching Tiger remembers to set its lineup and gets a comfortable win against Weekend Jail.

Full Point - Crouching Tiger did remember to set its lineup and won by 20 despite not cracking 100. Same Darnold2 put up 10.30 points (1 TD, 2 INT) and it was not a prolific week for the Cincinnati WR corps, but it didn't matter. Weekend Jail rostered Monangai after this very blog chided it for not doing so in Week 4, and he was ruled out. Sad!

🚨👆👉👇🚨 sneaks out a win against #MNF. Bo Nix has another bad week in a low scoring game against the Chargers, and that makes all the difference.

Full Point - Bo Nix scored 7.92 points and Emoji Gang won by 10.

Suphian's Revenge is upset by Rawdawgs, who strings together a strong week, including a relatively high score from the Packers D.

Half Point - The Packers D put up 18 points (7 points scored against, 4 sacks, 3 INTs, 2 fumble recoveries)3, but it was not enough for Rawdawgs to overcome bad days from Jeremiyah Love (2.20 points), TreVeyon Henderson (4.30 points) or a mediocre day from Jonathan Taylor (9.70 points). Rawdawgs should have started Maye and won handily.

Self-adjudicated score: 4.5/5

Prediction record this week: 4-1

Prediction record through Week 5: 15-10

LockWatch

Bo Nix scored 7.92 points this week and 13.56 last week. Same Darnold scored 10.30 points this week and 14.32 points last week. Drew Lock has to look at these guys and say "I could do that!" #FreeLock

Players, superlativized

High Flyer of the Week

given to the highest scoring rostered, active player each week

Jahmyr Gibbs of The Fast and the Jahmyrious scored 35.20 points this week. 151 yards and 2 TDs on the ground plus 56 yards on 5 receptions will make that happen. Enjoy the bye week, Jahmyr!

Little Stinker of the Week

given to the lowest scoring rostered, active player each week

A non-TE entry into the canon, Roman Wilson, WR, of The Fast and the Jahmyrious put up a goose egg against the Colts after exiting late in the second quarter. He hurt his finger and is out in Week 6.

Dishonorable mentions

Bad Benching

given to the highest scoring rostered, but benched, player each week

Rawdawgs started Trevor Lawrence (22.74 points) over Drake Maye, QB, who put up 39.46 points this week on 4 pass TDs, 374 passing yards, and a rushing TD. His schedule remains favorable through at least Week 10 (NYJ, @Chi, @Mia, GB, @Det). Maye might merit more respect from his manager at this point...

Dishonorable mentions

Waiver Whiff

given to the non-rostered player who scored the most points each week

Jameis Winston scored 25.74 points (326 passing yards, 3 TDs) in a tie against the Commanders. At least half the league would have done better with Jameis at the wheel than their available QBs. Fun!

Exceeding Expectations Star of the Week

given to the team whose points total most greatly exceeded their projection each week

The Fast and the Jahmyrious takes the spotlight for the second week in a row, scoring 137.46 against a 111.26 projected score. This sets the stage for a great heavyweight fight against 🚨👆👉👇🚨 in Week 6!

Commish's Bright Move of the Week

something Commish noticed and liked each week

The Fast and the Jahmyrious is the second team in a row in which I've noticed depth from the RB position. 69 points from the namesake Gibbs, Kyren Williams, and Aaron Jones Sr. The only challenge will be Week 6, wherein Gibbs and Williams are both on a bye. How will the squad respond?

Looking Forward

I don't know what you heard about me
But a bitch can't get a dollar out of me
No Cadillac, no perms, you can't see
That I'm a motherfuckin' P-I-M-P
I don't know what you heard about me
But a bitch can't get a dollar out of me
No Cadillac, no perms, you can't see
That I'm a motherfuckin' P-I-M-P (Now, shawty)

50 Cent

  1. Perhaps it is time to roster some Seniors.↩

  2. Credit Bomani Jones for this one.↩

  3. Feels like this should be worth more than 18 points.↩

  4. And give Commish a 5-0 prediction record this week.↩