Week 4 Wrapped
I took my first L of the season this week. Emoji Gang (π¨ππππ¨ aka "Quit Sackin' Me") was favored by 7 points and lost by more than 53. Humble pie has been served, and I do not like the way it tastes.
They say that how you respond to adversity is more important than the adversity itself. Do you think Kyle Whittingham feels the same way I do right now? Pat Fitzgerald? Dan Campbell? Doubtful. I am 3-1, and they cannot be 3-1 this season. Their teams are worse than mine. But still, they each had a plan and got punched in the mouth. They are all considering things like QB changes, defensive scheme changes, offensive scheme changes. I cannot have those concerns. What we all have in common is this question: how did we get here?1 And how do we go there?2 Am I merely a victim of circumstance, or did I personally fail and (co-)create my current predicament?
Clearly, it can be worse than starting the do you like football season 3-1. But it still hurts to lose and the second guessing hurts even more. Did I fail or am I a failure? For all of us, there is adversity, and the path out requires us to step forward.
Predictions, scored
The Fast and the Jahmyrious win big against .08 Over Par, who had no choice but to start two Cleveland Browns.
Full Point - TFatJ put up 180 against Romo's Woes, the same week it was announced that the latter's namesake would not be returning to CBS. The Browns mentioned were merely average, which honestly is not a bad outcome all things considered.
Swerski's Super Fans gets upset by Crouching Tiger. Mahomes has a huge week against the division rival Raiders and Josh Allen has a relatively mediocre game against the Patriots. This is enough to swing the upset.
Quarter Point - Swerski's squeaked out a win (0.52 point margin!), Mahomes was average in terms of stats, but Allen was mediocre relative to his bar.
Rawdawgs buries Weekend Jail in an 0-4 hole. Big week for Trevor Lawrence, Justin Jefferson, and Jonathan Taylor.
Zero Points - Weekend Jail wins by 5 in a low-scoring affair. Lawrence was mediocre, Justin Jefferson didn't play, and Jonathan Taylor was very good but not transcendent.
#MNF gets back to .500 while defeating Acho Endzone. Bo Nix carries his momentum from a high-scoring Week 3 into Week 4 against the 49ers.
Full Point - Bo Nix was cheeks, but #MNF buried MoAE so badly (56 point margin) that I'm taking this prediction and grave dancing while I'm at it.
Suphian's Revenge falls to π¨ππππ¨ (Emoji Gang), who gets a big week from Amon-Ra St. Brown.
Zero Points - ASRB was a big let down as the ball went more towards Jameson Williams in the passing game for Detroit. Miserable game. See article intro for more.
Self-adjudicated score: 2.25/5
Prediction record this week: 2-3
Prediction record through Week 4: 11-93
LockWatch
He's on waivers.
ποΈ
Players, superlativized
High Flyer of the Week
given to the highest scoring rostered, active player each week
Tetairoa McMillan made a tough week worse for Commish, scoring 38.20 points while carving up the much-maligned Detroit Lions4 secondary. 14 receptions, 192 yards, 2 TDs. No wonder The Fast and the Jahmyrious had such a great week.
Little Stinker of the Week
given to the lowest scoring rostered, active player each week
Evidently, this will mostly be an award for stinky tight ends. Dalton Kincaid of Swerski's Super Fans scored a measly 1.20 points. Swerski's won in spite of it, but is it true that the Bills' fate will go where Kincaid leads?
Dishonorable mentions
- Parker Washington, WR, of #MNF scored 1.50 points. #MNF also won, maybe we need a player on the team to sandbag in order to win.
- Saquon Barkley, RB, of Weekend Jail scored 1.50 points after exiting early with an apparent hamstring injury. Tough outcome for a first round pick.
Bad Benching
given to the highest scoring rostered, but benched, player each week
The Chicagoland-native manager of Weekend Jail didn't believe in Kyle Monangai enough to give him the start this week, leaving 27.50 points on the bench. The Penitentiary Peeps won in spite of this, but could have made it a true blowout.
Dishonorable mentions
- Drake Maye, QB, of Rawdawgs would have been better used if he had started over Trevor Lawrence and put the 27.16 points on the board
- Malik Nabers, WR, of #MNF scored 20.20 points from the pine.
Waiver Whiff
given to the non-rostered player who scored the most points each week
Tyquan Thornton put up 25.60 points (5 receptions, 111 yards, 2 TDs), only to dislocate his ankle and exit the game. He'll be out for 3 to 4 months recovering from this brutal injury.
Exceeding Expectations Star of the Week
given to the team whose points total most greatly exceeded their projection each week
The Fast and the Jahmyrious scored 180.14 points against a projection of 121.02. This 59.12 point delta lapped the rest of the overachievers this week, and has established this squad as a real threat for the title.
Commish's Bright Move of the Week
something Commish noticed and liked each week
#MNF scored 68.20 points from running back production (Robinson, Jeanty, Hubbard). Incredible stuff. Hubbard is on a bye this week. Will MoMNF pull in a receiver as its flex, or might there be some wire activity on their end this week?
Looking Forward
Gather ye rose-buds while ye may,
Old Time is still a-flying;
And this same flower that smiles today
Tomorrow will be dying.
The glorious lamp of heaven, the sun,
The higher heβs a-getting,
The sooner will his race be run,
And nearer heβs to setting.
That age is best which is the first,
When youth and blood are warmer;
But being spent, the worse, and worst
Times still succeed the former.
Then be not coy, but use your time,
And while ye may, go marry;
For having lost but once your prime,
You may forever tarry.
β To the Virgins, to Make Much of Time, Robert Herrick
Gather those rosebuds, take that step forward.