Week 2 Wrapped
Week 2 was kind of a a bore in the NFL this week. Maybe it was the rain storm that blew across the midwest. Maybe it was the flurry of injuries that took down QBs12. For do you like football, the sun has risen over us for another day and we will carry our successes and losses forward.
Predictions, scored
🚨👆👉👇🚨 squeaks out a win against Rawdawgs. Watch for big weeks from Derrick Henry from the emoji squad, and Rawdawgs will be pleasantly surprised to see Justin Jefferson's production stay high thanks to Carson Wentz.
Quarter point - Commish's team won, but by too much for this prediction to put a big score on the board. Justin Jefferson scored 7 fantasy points in a monsoon.
Weekend Jail defeats Acho Endzone. They just can't stop Lamar Jackson.
Zero points - Jackson scored 15.80 against 19.27 projected, and threw a back-breaking pick to end the game. Who Dat Nation had a good time, at least.
Swerski's Super Fans wins big against #MNF. Josh Allen will unfortunately feast against a tepid Lions secondary and Baker Mayfield will not be able to keep pace against the Browns.
Full point - you just can't stop Swerski's Super Fans (and Josh Allen). The Detroit Lions defense can't either.
The Fast and the Jahmyrious puts the beatdown on Crouching Tiger. If the margin is greater than 20 points, Commish will enforce a name change to Buried Tiger.
No point - The Sitting Kitties remain above ground for now. Jayden Daniels' early exit, plus lackluster performances from Ladd McConkey, Tucker Kraft and the Chiefs Defense made for a tough week.
Suphian's Revenge comes back with a vengeance against .08 Over Par. Caleb Williams' bullshit will be put on hold against the Brian Flores defense.
Full point - "vengeance" == 70 point margin of victory. And even before Williams' knee injury, Flores had him in a bind.
Self-adjudicated score: 2.25/5
Prediction record through Week 2: 7-3
Players, superlativized
High Flyer of the Week
given to the highest scoring rostered, active player each week
Josh Allen cut through the Detroit Lions defense like me through a plate of Buffalo wings, and Swerski's Super Fans cut through #MNF the same way. 40.82 fantasy points by way of 5 total TDs and 317 total yards will get it done.
Little Stinker of the Week
given to the lowest scoring rostered, active player each week
DJ Moore of .08 Over Par scored -0.10 points by virtue of -1 rushing yards and is day-to-day after a an AC joint injury forced him out of the Bills' bludgeoning of the Lions.
Honorable mentions
- **Swerski's Super Fans" put up 144.02 points despite putting Zay Flowers on the active roster, who ultimately did not play (and scored 0 points as a result). Sandbagging to try to keep things fair? Bold move!
- #MNF thought it might improve their odds against Swerski's if they rostered Malik Nabers, who scored a paltry 0.60 points with a shoulder injury.
- Dallas Goedert scored 0.90 fantasy points for Rawdawgs and is out for a few weeks with an MCL sprain. The dawgs might be on the hunt for their next tight end this week. Trade suitors, reach out!
Bad Benching
given to the highest scoring rostered, but benched, player each the week D Adams 35.50
🚨👆👉👇🚨 didn't get the memo that Puka Nacua would be out Monday night, and that Adams would be the biggest beneficiary, missing out on 35.50 points!
Waiver Whiff
given to the non-rostered player who scored the most points each week
Drew Lock scored 21.40 points and led the roster rejects despite being on only 3% of Yahoo rosters. Teams who should have started Lock over their starter:
- Rawdawgs (Maye)
- Weekend Jail (Jackson)
- Acho Endzone (Love)
- The Fast and the Jahmyrious (Daniels)
- Crouching Tiger (Burrow)
- .08 Over Par (Williams)
- Suphian's Revenge (Dart)
- #MNF (Mayfield)
Tough week of QB play in the league.
Exceeding Expectations Star of the Week
given to the team whose points total most greatly exceeded their projection each week
Swerski's Super Fans takes the crown again, scoring 144.02 against 108.40 projected points. Swerski's Squad is once again the Star of the Week! Let's all hope this is not a longstanding trend.
Commish's Bright Move of the Week[^4]
something Commish noticed and liked each week
Evan McPherson scored 12 points from the kicker position this week, adding to Crouching Tiger's valiant revolt against Commish's harsh predictions. Starting McPherson in spite of a strong Houston defense across roaming the opposite sideline was a vote of confidence, and it paid off in the form of 51- and 57-yard field goals, plus two PATs.
Looking Forward
"You have power over your mind, not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength." - Marcus Aurelius