Week 3 Wrapped
This was a week of surprises in the NFL. The Falcons started Week 3 by trouncing the Packers. The Browns have a winning record. The Texans are 0-31. The Steelers beat the Bengals, the Commanders beat the Seahawks with Marcus Mariota at QB2, the Jags beat the hapless Patriots, the Broncos surprised the Rams, and the Williams-less Bears won big against the Eagles, and in our neck of the woods...
#MNF beat .08 Over Par by nearly 30 points. Anything is possible!
Predictions, scored
Rawdawgs takes an L to Crouching Tiger. Drake Maye's Super Bowl start feels much longer than 7 months ago.
Full Point - The Sitting Kitties won big, and Maye scored less than 6 fantasy points.
.08 Over Par buries #MNF in an 0-3 hole. Baker Mayfield gets gobbled up by the Vikings defense.
Quarter Point - Mayfield got knocked out of the game with a dislocated right thumb, which we'll attribute directly to Flores and the Vikings defense.
Swerski's Super Fans knocks off the Daniels-less The Fast and the Jahmyrious. Not even a big week from Gibbs can disrupt Swerski's legendary start to the season.
Zero Points - Tyler Shuck3 outscored Josh Allen this week and Gibbs put up 37.90 points, which led Jahmyrious and co. over the seemingly invincible Super Fans.
Acho Endzone pulls out a close win against Suphian's Revenge, despite the bad vibes that come along with adding a Commissioner-Exempt woman beater to the squad.
Zero Points - I specifically called out the bad vibes that MoAE was summoning, but I did not listen to them. Taking the L here.
Weekend Jail realizes their team name is manifesting into reality, except now they are in jail for a long weekend. 🚨👆👉👇🚨 starts Purdy over Dak, and that choice is enough to propel the squad to victory.
Full Point - Purdy scored more than 31 fantasy points versus Dak's 18.94, and emoji gang won by nearly 50.
Self-adjudicated score: 2.25/5
Prediction record this week: 2-3
Prediction record through Week 3: 9-6
We have to talk about LockWatch
In the Week 3 Preview, I made a big stink about how no one picked up Drew Lock, just in time for Sam Darnold to take his job back and score 29.66 points (in a loss!). Weekend Jail picked Lock up after receiving my missive. Fortunately, he did not start him.
It would be understandable to doubt me after this seemingly dubious guidance with regard to fantasy football quarterbacking. What I will say here, on the record, is:
LockWatch cannot be created or destroyed. It simply changes form.
👁️
Players, superlativized
High Flyer of the Week
given to the highest scoring rostered, active player each week
Jahmyr Gibbs led the league this week with 37.90 fantasy points by way of 2 rushing TDs, 1 receiving TD, and 165 total yards. The Fast and the Jahmyrious needed this type of output to top Swerski's Super Fans this week and got it.
Little Stinker of the Week
given to the lowest scoring rostered, active player each week
It was an awful week for tight ends in do you like football, but Kyle Pitts Sr. of Rawdawgs led the race to the bottom, scoring a single fantasy point with a 5-yard reception.
Honorable mentions
- Dalton Kincaid, TE, of Swerski's Super Fans scored 2.80 points.
- Tucker Kraft, TE, of The Fast and the Jahmyrious scored 4.60 points.
- Tet McMillan, WR, again from Jahmyrious scored 2.70. How did they score such a big win against Swerski's?!
Bad Benching
given to the highest scoring rostered, but benched, player each the week
#MNF could have won by 40 had it started Bo Nix, QB, instead of Baker Mayfield. Nix put up an impressive 25.14 points against the vaunted LA Rams defense this week. NixWatch?
Waiver Whiff
given to the non-rostered player who scored the most points each week
Sam Darnold returned from a hip injury sustained in Week 1 to score 29.66 points! DarnoldWatch!
Exceeding Expectations Star of the Week
given to the team whose points total most greatly exceeded their projection each week
We must continue to give #MNF its flowers this week, drawing from what I assume were many sources of strength to exceed its weekly projection by 36.66 points (126.88 scored versus 90.22 projected).
Commish's Bright Move of the Week
something Commish noticed and liked each week
I just realized that Crouching Tiger rosters both Ja'Marr Chase and Tee Higgins, which would normally be a bit of a faux pas, but both Bengals clawed a TD and at least 90 yards through the air this week. Crouching Tiger might need to add some Bengal stripes before the season is over.
Looking Forward
"Afoot and light-hearted I take to the open road, healthy, free, the world before me... Henceforth I whimper no more, postpone no more, need nothing."
— Walt Whitman