2026 League Kickoff & Draft Results
Hello and welcome to the 2026 edition of do you like football. In some form or fashion, this league has existed for 15 years or so. I'm glad that you're along for the ride this year. Let's dive into the start of this season: the draft!
Context: League Set Up
In 2026, our league is 10 teams, half PPR, and otherwise standard scoring. No frippery, no weird stuff, just fantasy football the way Jah intended.
Draft Order
There are no games, challenges, mockeries, or Blandinos1 at play. Typically, we let Yahoo roll the dice one hour before the draft begins. This year, the Manager of Acho Endzone2 got a little impatient and decided to use his holdover privileges from a brief stint as deputy commissioner to force the issue days ahead of time. Trust was already low in the group chat, and the following message from the MoAE did not inspire faith:
Lol fuck
Well it generated twice. Yahoo UI is not good. Didn't even see the first order.
In my wisdom, I decided to roll with this bastardized draft order. The rationale: if Acho Endzone does well this season, we hold these evil deeds over its head. If Acho Endzone does poorly this season, it's even funnier.
The Finalized Order
- Won't You Be My Naber
- #MNF
- Crouching Tiger
- .08 Over Par
- Acho Endzone
- 🚨👆👉👇🚨
- Rawdawgs
- Suphian's Revenge
- Weekend Jail
- Swerski's Super Fans3
Draft Summary
The draft itself went on without a hitch. There were, of course, some auto-picks throughout. The chat was cordial. This is a league of gentlemen. I wish I had more to call out here, but it was a straightforward, 1-hour affair.
Draft Superlatives
Bye Week Bomb
Crouching Tiger - 5 of 9 starters will be out in week 6. Better watch the waiver wire.
Best Value Pick
🚨👆👉👇🚨 - Davante Adams at 66 versus an ADP of 38. Good business.
Biggest Reach
Swerski's Super Fans - Dalton Kincaid at 91 versus an ADP of 145. Ope.
Most Roster Holes
#MNF - 5 roster slots currently have a player that ranks 9th or 10th among starters in the league. Your new favorite trade partner.
Draft Grades
Yahoo didn't like our drafts, on the whole:
But that's just like their opinion, man.
Season Projections
Yahoo, again
As we've already agreed, they are wrong, right?
The Matrix
I thought this would be an opportunity to try something cool: a Monte Carlo simulation of the season ahead. In the simulation, we run 50,000 iterations of our fantasy football season and the results are encouraging:
| Team | Title | Final | Playoff | #1 Seed | Wins | 10-90% | Pts/Wk |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 🚨👆👉👇🚨 | 18.9% | 34.1% | 61.2% | 21.1% | 8.44 | 6-11 | 100.3 |
| .08 Over Par | 12.2% | 23.7% | 46.5% | 12.1% | 7.80 | 5-10 | 97.5 |
| Won't You Be My Naber | 11.8% | 23.2% | 45.2% | 11.7% | 7.74 | 5-10 | 97.4 |
| Crouching Tiger | 11.7% | 22.5% | 43.9% | 11.4% | 7.67 | 5-10 | 97.3 |
| Swerski's Super Fans | 11.5% | 22.5% | 44.2% | 11.3% | 7.72 | 5-10 | 97.1 |
| Weekend Jail | 8.6% | 17.9% | 37.3% | 8.4% | 7.39 | 5-10 | 95.9 |
| Rawdawgs | 7.6% | 16.4% | 34.5% | 7.5% | 7.26 | 5-10 | 95.5 |
| Suphian's Revenge | 6.7% | 15.0% | 32.2% | 6.4% | 7.15 | 5-10 | 94.9 |
| Acho Endzone | 6.3% | 14.2% | 30.7% | 5.9% | 7.09 | 5-10 | 94.4 |
| #MNF | 4.5% | 10.5% | 24.3% | 4.3% | 6.75 | 4-9 | 93.1 |
Notes on how each season simulation works:
- Lineups are set each week, with expected points maximized for the roster based upon available projections.
- Bench depth is respected. If a starter gets hurt in the simulation, the backup at that position steps into an active roster spot.
- Waivers/streaming come into play if there are no other players on the roster who can take that spot.
What the simulation doesn't do:
- Teams never really upgrade via the waiver wire. You only use the waiver to fill an open position.
- No trades.
- No IR usage.
- Nobody forgets to set their lineup.
It will be interesting to see how this simulation stacks up against reality once December rolls around.
Conclusion
We're off to the races now. The season kicks off tomorrow night in the form of a Super Bowl rematch! Let's light up the waiver wire, get some early trade requests in, and enjoy the next 4 months. Cheers!